ITOB 8: S37E2P4

BLUE: Okay then! It’s time once again to wait for a bus!

[color screen shows, elevator music plays]

BLUE: OH MY GOSH A BUS

SHANDRA, quietly: are you going to do that every time, orr-

BLUE: Thaaaat’s right! A bus seems to be headed our way! [points at RAY] RAY, IS THAT OUR BUS?

[RAY remains silent, standing unnervingly still.]

BLUE: ahem

BLUE: RAY, IS THAT OUR BUS?

RAY: …

*RAY slowly presses a button on their podium with one of their claw limbs.*

BLUE: RAY SAYS THAT’S! NOT! OUR! BUS!

BLUE: Ray, would you please spin the WHEEL OF BUS?

RAY: …

[RAY spins the WHEEL OF BUS with great force. It sparks as it spins. BLUE was leaning on it, so she is flung into the ceiling by RAY’s force. She gently drifts back down with her many wings spread, seemingly unharmed. The WHEEL lands on “bus number 275 yo”]

[BUS NUMBER 275 falls from the ceiling. FRANCIS has to run out of the way to avoid getting crushed. That guy needs a raise.]

BLUE: Tickets, pleeeeease!

[RAY hands BLUE their TICKET]

BLUE: Ray, you were wrong! This is, in fact, OUR BUS!

WOW! WHO WOULD’VE GUESSED? WAIT, DID SHE EVER EXPLAIN THE RULES OF THIS GAME? RAY LOST, RIGHT? I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW, SO STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!

*cut to commercial*

Part 5

BLUE: Ray, you were wrong! This is, in fact, OUR BUS! You win a turn in the BOX OF MYSTERY!

*STUDIO AUDIENCE gasps*

SHANDRA: What’s in the box of mystery?

BLUE: IT’S A MYSTERY!!!

BLUE: francis.

[FRANCIS drags the BOX OF MYSTERY onstage. He looks angry, as always.]

BLUE: Ray, claim your prize.

[RAY steps into the BOX OF MYSTERY, which emits a large gust of wind that blows SHANDRA’s hair all over the place. GLENDA takes a picture of her. RAY returns holding a FULL-SIZED TWIX WRAPPER, candy not included.]

SHANDRA: Is that a candy wrapper???

BLUE, nodding sagely: yes.

SHANDRA: why… Why is that there?

BLUE: …

BLUE, making ‘spooky hands’ (her words, not mine): ✨MYSTERY✨

BLUE: Alright! That’s it for today’s episode of IS! THAT! OUR! BUS! Stay tuned for more “bus-riffic”^™fun! 

SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON IS THAT OUR BUS! I CAN SEE YOU, BY THE WAY. YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY! EXCEPT FOR YOU, JOE. YEAH, YOU. LOSE THAT TIE. IT’S UGLY.

*roll credits*