ITOB 7: S37E2P3

BLUE: That’s right folks! These lucky individuals will experience our most famous, high octane, horrifying, incredible, 

[RED leans onscreen and carefully removes an incredibly small, incredibly thick BOOK labeled ‘12th Edition Instant Pocket Thesaurus: now with MORE ADJECTIVES!’ from BLUE’s pocket]

BLUE: weird, wacky, outrageous, SPECTACULAR game! Francis, if you will?

[FRANCIS drags the TICKET MACHINE onstage, muttering bitterly. It tries to bite him, so he bites it to assert dominance.]

BLUE: Step right up and buy a ticket! *She gestures with her UMBRELLA.*

[The film cuts forward with a horrifying screech, resuming at GLENDA purchasing a TICKET. She swipes a CARD. It declines. The kind-hearted TICKET MACHINE gently extends a long, glistening tongue, silently consumes her CARD, and spits out the TICKET.]

GLENDA, quietly, as she walks away: #omigod #literally

BLUE: Now, time to wait for a bus!

[color screen shows, elevator music plays]

BLUE: OH MY GOSH A BUS

BLUE: That’s right! A bus seems to be headed our way! [points at GLENDA] GLENDA, IS THAT OUR BUS?

GLENDA: I’ve already got some prize money, and I don’t want to get greedy, so…

GLENDA: THAT’S! NOT! OUR! BUS!

BLUE: Let’s see if you’re right! Spin the WHEEL OF BUS!

[The STUDIO AUDIENCE cheers silently as FRANCIS storms onstage, dragging the WHEEL OF BUS into view, his many hands straining to grip its awkward bulk. The mute icon reappears, and shows the volume increasing as the volume of the cheers does just that]

GLENDA: I’m about to spin the #wheelofbus you guys!!! omigod! I bet it’s #notourbus, let’s see if I’m right! #isthatourbus #itob 

[BLUE can be seen in the background rolling her eyes. GLENDA spins the WHEEL OF BUS. It lands on a picture of a HOUSEPLANT. This same HOUSEPLANT falls from the ceiling, nearly hitting FRANCIS. It smashes to bits as it lands]

FRANCIS, dodging a houseplant: AAUGH

BLUE: Congratulations! THAT’S! NOT! OUR! BUS! 

ALL: THAT’S! NOT! OUR! BUS!

BLUE: You win absolutely nothing! *jazz hands* yayyy!

GLENDA, already livestreaming again: Heyy you guys! I was right! It was #notourbus!

BLUE: glenda no

GLENDA: glenda yes

BLUE: Okay then! It’s time once again to wait for a bus!

YOU HEARD HER! WAIT FOR THE BUS! I’M SURE IT’LL COME EVENTUALLY! YOU BETTER BE HERE TO SEE IT! YOU BETTER! YOU BETTER! ! STAY TUNED TO SEE IF THE BUS COMES!

*cut to commercial*